


Sword and Shield

by rumithealien



Series: changing the rules to play the game [5]
Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: M/M, kipling brothers centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 11:19:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumithealien/pseuds/rumithealien
Summary: Ra opened his mouth to protest. To tell Thor the truth but he stopped.It was meant to be a surprise. He wouldn’t be the one to ruin it.





	Sword and Shield

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long. I tried to write a short thing and it spiralled...

Thor’s only coherent thought as he heard the door being deadbolted behind him was that he was an idiot. In retrospect, it had been obvious where the situation was headed. He should have realised. 

But of course his mind had been preoccupied with other things.

Worry mostly.

He wondered if it was obvious to everyone that he’d drop everything and forget all his rules for keeping himself safe the minute someone told him “It’s Dizzee. You gotta come now.” 

He hoped not. 

He glared at Boo who glared right back.

Little shit.

Of course it’d be him. He forced himself to stop glaring and raised his hands slightly in a gesture of peace and surrender. 

“I’m going to go out on a limb and assume Dizzee’s fine then.”

Boo cocked his head slightly but his face didn’t change a bit, still standing by the door. 

Right then. That didn’t work. Thor sighed.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t sure he could overpower Dizzee’s brother if it came down to it. It was simply that he’d been hoping that, after the dinner last week that had gone far better than he ever would have guessed, he wouldn’t find himself being lured to some abandoned building by his boyfriend’s brother.

"Take a seat."

Thor let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah no thanks. When I've been lured to unknown places by people I barely know I prefer to stand."

Boo shrugged. "Fine but we gotta wait till Shao is here anyway."

Thor's mind caught on the name. Shao? That boy he'd met. The one Dizzee had been planning to stay with if everything had gone wrong. What the hell was going on. 

"Boo, what's going on here?"

Boo frowned. "I assumed that would be obvious. We don't know you. We don't know anything about you. Hell I'm sure Thor ain't what your parents named you." Thor suppressed a flinch at the mention of his parents. "So here you are guy we've never met, don’t even know your name and you're dating my brother. What do you think is happening?"

Oh.

Thor felt a hysterical laugh bubble up in his chest. He forced it back.  
They were going to give him the 'don't you dare hurt my friend speech'. He could have laughed at the absurdity. It was so ordinary. One of those relationship milestones they'd just assumed they'd never have to deal with. Thor wondered if this was Boo's way of trying to get things back on track. 

To ignore the fact that his brother had been lying to him for over a year and focus on catching up with all the interactions and relationships that should have built up over that time. 

It was almost endearing in a mildly scary way.

Thor had never really seen the point in these talks if he was honest. 

In his experience if someone was going to hurt someone then it wouldn't discourage them and if someone was planning not to hurt the person they were dating then it simply added a layer of mistrust to their relationship with their partner's friends. It was better he thought to keep an eye out for problems as things moved along and to deal with them as necessary then rather than going through this charade. 

But he understood Boo's need to go through with it. It created some semblance of normality in their relationship. It probably also helped him cope with being unable to protect his brother from the other dangers this relationship could bring Thor realised.

If he doesn't believe he can protect his brother from the world because it simply seems too vast and too powerful, doing everything he could to make sure that his brother was free from other threats probably helped Boo at least feel like he was helping.

Regardless he'd probably just have to sit through a generic 'don't hurt my brother or I'll kill you' speech then he could leave. A far cry from the actual attack he'd been expecting a few minutes ago.

Shao appeared in a blur of red. "Thor long time no see. I’m sure Boo explained to you why you’re here and why you ain’t here."

Thor shook his head smiling. "No but I think I figured it out."

Shao smiled. "Of course but I'm worried that you ain’t realised we taking this shit seriously here. Take a seat.”

Shao walked across the room and reached behind his desks. Thor lowered himself into a chair. If Boo felt like he was taking it seriously then it probably help them get along better in the future. 

Thor knew without a doubt how important his brothers were to Dizzee and how desperately he wanted them to get along. If playing along slightly helped it wasn't too big a sacrifice to make.

And then Shao pulled out a fucking samurai sword. 

"So let's talk. Boo you wanna take the floor?"

Boo grinned. “Been waiting for you to ask. All right listen up . We don’t know each other. Dizz knows you but his judgement ain’t stellar at the best of times and if he likes you then it’s gonna be even worse. So that’s why we’re here.”Boo glanced back at Shao who had taken out a sharpening stone and was casually sharpening the sword in his lap.

Thor stared at the sword. The grating noise the stone made on the blade echoed around the temple.  
Where the hell had be gotten that. 

Shaolin Fantastic had a reputation as being a bit theatrical but Thor had always that was embellished to add to the mystery of the graffiti artist who bombed alone and never visited the writer's bench. 

But apparently not.

Apparently Shao was exactly as he'd been described. 

He focused his attention back on Boo who was glaring at him. Clearly trying to appear intimidating despite their obvious difference in height, weight and age.

" You hurt him we will track you down. You make him feel like shit we will find you. You mock him cause he does weird shit we'll make sure you live to regret it. You make him stay away from us or stop him seeing us we will hunt you down and if you ever hit him we'll run you through with that sword right there. You got it."

Thor studied Boo. He was glaring at him again but now they were closer Thor could see that Boo was scared. He could understand why. He'd seen enough friends go through awful damaging relationships that he could understand the overwhelming desire to protect your loved ones. He had the exact same feelings whenever Carmen started dating anyone. 

She'd made it very clear to Thor that whoever she was dating was her business not his and he respected that but having seen the fall out and the outcomes from some of her disastrous relationships he could understand the feeling of helplessness as you watched the people you cared about give their hearts away leaving them so vulnerable and open to attack.

"Are those the terms for your approval?" Boo nodded "Okay I accept. They're all things I’m doing my utmost to avoid anyway Boo. You don't want to hurt the people you love, you don't want them to feel like crap. You want them to spend time with the people that matter to them. That's part of loving someone-"

"And not hitting them. Ever."

Thor could almost feel the strength of Boo's stare boring into his skull. He locked eyes with him. He wondered who Boo knew who had suffered that. There had to be someone for him to have focused in on it so strongly. 

"Never."

Boo nodded. "Okay."

Thor smiled "So that's it then? I have your approval."

Boo laughed. "Hell nah. You're on probation. For all I know you're gonna go home and have a terrible fight and I’ll have to track you down tomorrow morning."

Thor laughed. He was going to like this kid. He hadn't been sure after Boo's outburst at dinner but now he was pretty sure. 

He glanced at Shao who was still sitting in his chair sharpening his sword threateningly. "Soon as Dizzee says there's a problem then we got a problem. You get me?"

Thor nodded. Shao jumped out of his chair. "I'll show you out."

They walked in silence down the stairs. Despite not having known him for very long or very well it was clear to Thor that Shao was building up the courage to say something to ask something. 

He wondered if Shao was going to hint at his own, according to Dizzee, very obvious crush on Zeke. 

Shao said nothing.

As he was about to walk out the building Shao grabbed his arm. 

"One last thing. I know you might think that this is all just Boo being melodramatic and shit. But I ain’t. Lucky for you though I mostly think Dizzee’s relationship is Dizzee’s business. But Boo’s right. I hear you laid a finger on him and I’m coming for your ass. I hear from Dizzee that you've been making him do anything he doesn't want to in this relationship and I will kill you. We understanding each other here?"  
Thor nodded. Shao's eyes were chips of flint and Thor was suddenly struck by the realisation that Shao was speaking the absolute truth. 

He'd hate it. 

Thor doubted that Dizzee would be friends with anyone who enjoyed harming others. But he'd do it. Thor just hoped there was someone who was looking out for Shao with as much determination as he was looking out for Dizzee. 

Something at the back of his mind told him there wasn't.

~~~

“No.”

Ra did a double take. “What do you mean no?”

Thor sighed and looked up from his art book. He looked defeated Ra thought. His slumped shoulders and his whole body compressed as if there was a force crushing him from all directions. He looked small. Small, Ra almost laughed at the thought at him thinking of Thor as small. But that was the best word for it.

That was why Thor had to come with him.

Because they’d fixed it. Boo and Shao and Tanya and him. They’d fixed it. Well not fixed it. Ra knew that really there wasn’t any way that they could actually fix it. But they’d found a loophole. 

“I mean last time I followed a Kipling brother who told me it was an emergency and couldn’t explain why I ended up getting a samurai sword pulled on me. Like an actual honest to god samurai sword. I understand that you’re worried about your brother but the shovel talked been done Ra.”

Ra opened his mouth to protest. To tell Thor the truth but he stopped.

It was meant to be a surprise. He wouldn’t be the one to ruin it. This wasn’t the plan. He didn’t know what to say. He was meant to get Thor to the temple. He’d planned it. 

He glanced at Thor. He was looking at him sadly. Ra shut his mouth and felt anger flare up within him. He hated that look. He’d gotten it so often from Zeke and Yolanda and Ma. 

He knew he looked a fool standing there silently, tapping his hands against his side. But he needed time to process. This conversation hadn’t gone how he’d thought it would. It wasn’t the conversation he’d prepared for.

He’d have to work out a new plan. 

“Move up.” Thor’s eyes widened but he moved along the bench nevertheless.

Ra took the space offered and focused his eyes on the distant tunnel wall. Better.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Thor tightly wound as if ready to bolt from the bench in a heartbeat, Ra gently tapping his fingers against the bench. 

“This isn’t about you. This is about Dizzee.”

Thor snorted. “Oh I have no illusions about that. I’m not taking it as a personal affont. I’m sure any boy Dizzee brought home would have to go through the same thing. I get-“

“No” Thor’s head whipped round. Ra cursed himself. He should have let him talk for longer. Given himself a chance to build up a structure for what he was going to say.

Now Thor was staring at him clearly expecting him to elaborate. To explain. To say something. Anything. Ra could feel himself beginning to panic. 

They were tight on time as it was. He’d promised. He didn’t have time to bolt and start over.

“How many times has Dizzee seen Star Wars?”

Thor blinked. Ra could almost hear him trying to puzzle out what the hell that had to do with anything.

“I don’t know six? Why-“

“Forty-Three. He’s seen Star Wars forty-three bloody times. You know why? Cause he knows I hate going to the theatre alone. He’s never complained about it once though. Forty-three times I go up to him and say ‘Dizz, I wanna go see Star Wars’ and he just looks at me and goes ‘Sure Ra. What time you thinking.’ No complaints. Nothing. See Boo he started complaining after trip seven and wouldn’t come along after trip twelve. He prefers going to see new things you see. But Dizz it’s like he knew how important this was. See everyone thinks Dizzee’s off on his own planet and that there’s no way to reach him. They’re wrong though. If it’s the people he cares about Dizzee’s got his feet planted firmly on the ground.”

Ra stopped he was rambling. Again. 

Dancing round the point trying to force Thor to understand. To see.

He’d never been very good at explaining himself. 

“Dizzee doesn’t care about Star Wars like I do. But he’ll pretend to cause he knows I do. That’s you see. You’re Star Wars. I don’t know you. I don’t care about you but Dizz does. And you know what. That’s good enough for me. Yeah I’m worried as hell that something’ll happen to him cause of this. But Ma and Pa are worried as hell that something will happen to us cause of the music we’re doing.”

Ra sighed.

“But you see that’s a risk we gotta take if we wanna do the thing we love. So I guess that’s a risk Dizzee feels is worth taking to be with the person he loves. I ain’t happy about it but I aint about to take that out on you cause I figure it’s the same for you. It ain’t your fault. It’s the world’s fault.” 

He risked a glance over at Thor. He was staring at the floor. He was almost crying. Ra decided to give him the courtesy of pretending he hadn’t seen. 

He wondered what Thor had been expecting. What he’d clearly assumed was coming. Hadn’t they made it clear already at the dinner that they were willing to understand.

Or at least try. Had he done something wrong. 

He wondered if Thor was an only child and that was why he didn’t understand that the Kipling Siblings would do anything for each other. He’d never heard Thor mention any. Hell he’d never heard Thor mention his family at all. 

They’d just have to teach him Ra decided. Teach him that the Kiplings stuck together and that now he was part of that. 

Ra fidgeted. 

“Look man. I can’t tell you why you gotta come with me cause I promised. But I can tell you that a few years ago there was nothing I wanted more than a Star Wars poster. Couldn’t afford one though. So one day I come home right and there’s a copy this copy of it sitting on my bed. Dizzee’d drawn it for me. It doesn’t quite look right and it’s not the real thing but I love it and it’s mine. See I know my brother. He’s a bit of romantic. I think it comes with being a poet or whatever. Point is we’re all pretty sure the two of you probably never got to go on a proper date cause of you know everything. So I can’t tell you why you gotta come with me cause I promised I wouldn’t but it’s important you do.”

Thor shifted and Ra could feel his eyes studying him. He didn’t turn to meet his eyes. It never helped. It’d only pin him to the bench like an insect on display. 

He hoped Thor would trust his sincerity without it. He’d have to learn to anyway if he and Dizzee were going to be a thing for a while. 

“Okay” Thor laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Okay Ra. I trust you. You lead. I’ll follow. Let’s see where this story leads.”

~~~

Dizzee wasn't sure why his brother had been so insistent that he come to the temple that night. He'd been half considering heading round to the writer's bench to see Crash and Daze but Boo had made it very clear that going to the writer's bench was not currently an option and that he was needed as Zeke had finished a new set for The Get Down Brothers and Shao was desperate to start working on it.

"You know how he gets when he's excited about something Dizz. I think he's been feeling left out you know with Zeke being away and all. This is the first letter he's got from him and he wants to show that we can still be The Get Down Brothers even if we're not all in the same place."

Boo's eyes were earnest and pleading and Dizzee had been struck by the realisation that he'd forgotten how much his brother truly cared about the people in his life. 

"Okay Boo I'll come with. The painting of the canvas that is our world can wait for one night I'm sure."

Boo had lit up like the lights in the towers across the river. Dizzee tuned out the ensuing babbling about how happy Shao would be about him coming as they walked. He wasn't stupid. Boo was lying. 

He wondered why. 

A wave of guilt hit him. Was it because he'd been spending so much time away? Had Boo assumed that he was going to slowly drift away from The Get Down Brothers on the solar winds leaving them alone.

Dizzee cast his mind back over the last few months. Shit. When had he last invited Boo to come with him when he snuck out to find inspiration among the silent streets. It hadn't been that long ago had it?

Even as he thought it he knew it had been. 

There had been a time when the answer would never have been more than a week.

A week and a half at most.

He hadn't even noticed. He'd been so caught up in his worries about his family finding out where he was going. Who he was seeing. Of find out everything he possibly could about this new uncharted planet he’d discovered. He’d let things slip. 

He wondered when Boo had noticed the change. He hoped it wasn't long ago. Knowing Boo it was though.

Boo wasn't the most practical of the Kipling Siblings or the best at impulse control Dizzee mused. Everyone in the Kipling family was well aware of that particular problem.

As a child Boo had more than most children his age been heavily focused on the immediate joy he could get from things rather than the consequences.

This had led to Ma and Pops and even in one case Dizzee himself fishing him out of many public fountains as Boo had decided he wanted to go swimming or that he was too warm.

Despite his apparent blindness to the inevitable outcome of his own impulsive actions Boo had always been surprisingly good at picking up on the changes in people’s behaviour towards him and those around him. Even if he often couldn't puzzle out why the change had happened .

Dizzee chuckled. The number of times Boo had been able to predict when a fight was about to break out at school had been uncanny.

When it came to the prediction of such events Boo was to be taken as gospel. If he told you it was about to go south you left as quickly and as quietly as you could. He'd saved Dizzee's skin many times with that gift. 

Despite this however Boo had been in more fights then the rest of his sibling's combined. Turns out the ability to sense when a fight was about to break out only helps you avoid them if you managed to keep your temper and not get yourself involved in them.

The Kipling Siblings were well aware of Boo's temper. Quick to boil. Quick to cool. Mercurial like Shao. Sometimes a little too much like Shao Dizzee worried.

Dizzee was well aware how much his brother looked up to Shao and idolised him.

He just hoped that his brother knew that Shao was like the ancient bronze sword they'd seen at the History Museum.

Beautiful? Yes. Timeless too. Valuable and capable of defending itself and others.

But damaged.

Beaten into the shape he now lived in by the world around him. Had that lump of bronze been found in another time, another place, by another person who knows what it could have been.

A cooking pot. A shield. A necklace.

But instead it had been crafted to harm, to maim, to kill.

Dizzee often wondered if Shao would ever be able to escape the crafting and manipulation he'd gone through.

He hoped so.

Maybe if Shao got a space to change if he was surrounded by those who would let him shift and remould himself into the form he wanted not the one he had been chosen for him all those years ago who knows what he could become. Dizzee considered the thought what could Shaolin Fantastic become if he allowed himself to step out of the constrictions he'd been placed in. 

He knew Mylene was convinced that Shao was like Adamantium. Now formed and shaped and cooled it was impossible for him to change. No fire or flame or force could save him. 

She was wrong though. Dizzee knew that.

He'd seen Shao change even over the course of the time they'd known him. He knew that the Shao they'd met almost a year and a half ago wouldn't have taken Napoleon in like he had. Wouldn't have offered Dizzee a place to stay if his parents had kicked him out after that dinner. He’d have been afraid of the associations Dizzee would bring. He'd have considered any of those actions to be a weakness a flaw that could be exposed and exploited. 

That alone was enough for Dizzee. That was proof.

Shao was still able to change.

Some of it would take time. And he was sure that half of it they didn't even know about yet. But some of it he was pretty sure he had a good idea about. 

Some of it Dizzee was sure he could help with.

Maybe not now.

Dizzee knew from the mildly panicked look that always spread across Shao's face if they were left alone together and the conversation drifted towards feelings that Shao wasn't ready to face that truth quite yet.

That was understandable of course. Dizzee's brief yet memorable encounter with Cadillac at their performance made it clear to him why Shao needed the time. Despite his fears and worries about his family finding out Dizzee had never really thought it would end with them parting ways forever. He knew his family too well for that. 

No matter what trouble they'd gotten into, no matter what stupid risks they'd taken Ma and Pops had been there to bail them out. Disappointed and angry but by their side. Ready and waiting with advice, comfort and love. Shao had been left with none of that. Nothing to fall back on. Nothing to catch him. 

He was only now beginning to learn what having that guaranteed support meant. He was only now beginning his first tentative steps into space. Dizzee was sure he’d go further than anyone once he knew. 

Everyone had their core, their centre to which all their actions could be traced Dizzee had thought about it at great length.

Zeke’s was loyalty. Loyalty to his family, to his friends, to his morals, to himself. 

Boo was joy, a belief that it was all going to work and a desire for that brightest of feelings. 

Yolanda integrity, a deep unshakable sense of who she was and a determination to stay true to it no matter how the world tried to force her to do otherwise.

Ra centred around honesty. A boundless faith in the idea that the truth would always surface and while it was not the easiest route it was the correct one.

Carmen radiated compassion her life revolved around it a desire to protect, to understand, to cultivate, to encourage others towards the same ends.

Thor was discovery, a thirst for knowledge, wisdom, feeling, the self. A never-ending mapping of the world and all it contained and a desire to share what was found to allow others to find or avoid it as he had. 

And Shao? Had Dizzee been asked a year ago he’d have said fear.

He’d have been wrong.

That was just the crust that Shao had been forced to build up around it. To hide it, to supress it and when it truly mattered Dizzee had seen it shine through like the blinding light of the sun. 

It was love.

A reckless, destructive and endless love. Stronger than any fear contained within him. Dizzee could only hope that one day Shao would be able to break free and begin to chip that dulling layer off.

One day.

They had reached the temple and for a moment Dizzee was hit with the uncanny feeling that he’d fallen into a parallel world. A world not vastly different from his own in the visual sense but a strange world in which Shao allowed classical music to be played on his decks. 

Dizzee frowned at Shao in confusion who smiled at him. “Hey don’t give me that look. This ain’t as bad as trying to understand you explaining fuckin’ soup can art while high. At least we got a good explanation right Boo?”

Boo laughed. “Don’t worry Dizz. It’s a good surprise you’ll see.”

Dizzee glanced round the room. Bar the music there were no clues as to what Boo and Shao were concealing. 

“Boo have you considered that all surprises must be good ones or else they are simple shocks or expected events. In fact-“

Shao interrupted him with a burst of laughter.

“Alright Plato. You should probably head up to the roof cause whether or not you still wanna argue that time is a false construct we’re running out of it.”

Dizzee nodded. He was still clueless as to what was going on but if Shao was laughing it was probably nothing disastrous. At worst they’d be telling him that a launch must be delayed not that the stars were falling. 

~~~

It was like they’d plucked the stars from the sky and the clouds from the air and scattered them across the roof. 

Thor sat at a table set for to warming his hands on the fire that burned next to it. The flames from the fire and the candles reflected in his eyes and hair. Dizzee stopped unwilling to break the moment. 

His fingers itched for something to draw on, to draw with to capture this moment, this image, this feeling in his mind for the rest of his life. Thor sitting there looking every part the thunder god that was his name sake almost glowing in the light.

But of course the universe would not allow it and Thor glanced up to see Dizzee standing there. He broke into a smile and Dizzee found himself half way across the roof before he was even fully aware he was doing so.

The two of them stood there together for an age allowing the universe to turn around them. Twin stars shining down on the world until Dizzee heard a polite cough behind him.

Dizzee sprang back heart racing. Shit. Panic swelled in his chest.

Logically he knew that whichever on of his brothers it was they already knew his relationship with Thor. But he couldn’t quiet shake the part of his brain that screamed at him that this would be the thing that tipped the scales, the thing that made them realise the reality that came with Thor. That when face with a display of affection between them it would hit them and they would flee. 

Ra smiled. “We’re ready to serve dinner now. Go take your seats.”

He turned and headed back down the stairs humming slightly. Dizzee turned to Thor. “Any chance you can tell me why we’ve both washed up here? I haven’t brought you to this corner of the universe yet. How’d they get you here?”

Thor laughed and took his seat. Dizzee followed. “I didn’t actually know I was going to be until about thirty minutes ago.”

Dizzee grimaced. “They kidnap you again?” Thor shook his head.

“No. Ra gave me a very long talk about the wonders of you and Star Wars. By the end I was convinced it was worth my evening.”

Dizzee smiled. “By me or by Star Wars.”

Thor smirked.” Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Silence fell for a few moments before Thor reached out and took Dizzee’s hand. 

“Hey it’s okay. Your brothers just got rather emotional about the fact that we’ve been dating almost a half and hadn’t been able to go on a proper date. So they set one up. Which reminds me can your brothers cook do you know?”

~~~

Dizzee could have cried with joy.

It wasn't that the dinner date his brothers had create for him was perfect. Far from it in fact. 

But the idea that they'd even thought to make one for him was enough. 

The knowledge that his brothers knew him well enough to know that this mattered to him and that having to conceal his relationship from the world would have such consequences made Dizzee feel mildly guilty about the way in which he'd distanced himself from his brothers even unknowingly. 

He'd make an effort he decided.

He'd take Boo with him some time when him and Thor went out to explore the city and draw. Boo used to love those trips and it'd allow them to get to know each other. He'd have one that was just him and Boo too. He knew how much those trips had mattered to Boo when they were younger. 

He'd find something for Ra too. He'd been saving up some cash from their shows and Carmen said she knew a girl who was making a Star Wars zine. Ra would love that. He could read through it before hand Dizzee decided and illustrate some of the scenes for him.

He'd invite Shao bombing with the two of them as well. He knew Shao's first love would always be being a DJ but that didn't mean he had to give up all his other passions. He'd make sure Shao knew that. They'd create a piece together something bold and bright but with hidden patterns you could only see with time. Like Shao himself.

He turned to look out across the skyline.

The hundreds of lights glimmering in front of them like the stars in the sky. A thousand rays of light captured and confined to tiny squares. Forever. All those people.

All those lives. All those experiences and feelings and love and hate and dreams but when you looked over at it all you could see was those little squares.

Often Dizzee had found himself lying awake staring at the ceiling of his room, covered by a canopy of his own creations. In those moments he felt as though he would be crushed by all the paths he hadn't taken. The paths he wouldn't take. The paths he couldn't take.

It was as if the world was closing in on him forcing him down a route which he wasn't even sure he wanted to take. He could voice no protest however as everyone was met with the simple question "What do you want then if not this?" and he had no answer for the universe in response. 

It seemed more and more that so many around him knew were they were going or at least had some idea.  
Mylene wanted to sing. Yolanda wanted to take over the salon. He however was floating. 

Directionless like a piece of space junk. Sure it sounded cool but if you looked too closely then you realised that it was nothing more then a piece of twisted metal floating in space not special just lucky enough to have been given a name that made it appear so. 

He’d dreaded the day everyone around him figured that out.

That had all changed in the past two years. He'd met Shao and Thor and he'd realised something.

He wanted to create more then anything in the world. He wanted to create art and music and hope and passion. He hadn't quite figured out how he'd do that or beyond what he was already doing but it was a start and that was enough.

He glanced at Thor. He was also staring off across the skyline, his thumb gently brushing circles against Dizzee's hand. 

He wondered if Thor should have been more of a surprise. Despite his calm exterior Dizzee knew he was vulnerable to bouts of panic and had been known to bolt from rooms on more than one occasion. He thanked the stars above that he'd held that urge in check when Thor had taken him to that first party all those months ago. 

What had surprised him more than anything had been the familiarity of everything. Yes everything had been shiny and new and unknown and wonderful but beneath it all had been a sense of having already been there. Having already known this. 

The kiss had not felt like a shocking discovery. Instead it simply sparked the revelation within him that he knew this feeling. He knew this tightness in his chest. This rush. This desire to connect, to know, to care for, to be with, to love. He'd experienced it before he just simply hadn't realised what it was. 

Dizzee broke out of his thoughts. Thor was staring at him. 

"What?" 

Thor smiled as if Dizzee had given him the world on a plate. 

"Your eyes. With the lights it looks like they contain a thousand tiny stars. Like you've got a whole galaxy in there. All locked up within a vault. A vault of stars."

Dizzee felt himself blush. "You're going to have to paint that."

Thor raised an eyebrow at him. "You say that as if you don't think I've already started planning how to."

There was silence on the roof before Thor spoke again.

"Do you think we can actually make this work?"

It was like a meteor had hit the table. 

Dizzee stared at Thor. Half ready to explode at the very question to insist of course they could make it work what was he even thinking asking that. Was this Thor's way of telling him that he didn't think it would work. That he wanted it to end. That he'd gotten bored. 

He stopped. 

That wasn't what Thor was asking. He could tell from the melancholic expression on his face. This was serious.

He considered it. No public dates. No holding hands. No wedding. No children.

Those things didn't really matter to him now. Right now being with Thor was enough to counter balance all the negatives. But who knows if that might change. 

Wasn't Ma always telling them that when they'd first got married Pop had been completely against having kids but as they'd grown up he'd changed his mind. 

What if Dizzee wondered one day that matters to me more then anything. Or what if it's not one thing but a multitude of small things that builds up to him walking away. Or Thor walking away. 

What if the world just kept working at them until it wasn't worth it. What if that tainted what they had now. Was it better to end it now and let it stay like this forever. One year in which everything was wonderful.

No.

Dizzee mentally kicked himself. That was bullshit. He squeezed Thor's hand.

"I don't know."

Thor nodded and opened his mouth. Dizzee didn't give him the chance. He wasn't finished.

"But I don't think anyone knows. Ma and Pop didn't know if they were still going to be together. No one does. So yes maybe we gotta do things differently and that'll make things more difficult but that doesn't mean it's going to fail. There is nothing that means this is going to fail. I don't know where we're gonna be in a year. No one does. I don't know how we're gonna feel in a year or what the world will be like."

Dizzee smiled.

"But I do know this. I love you now and I'm not willing to throw that away on the basis of what ifs and half thought fears. I life lived by those fears is no life at all. This is worth more than that. It deserves a proper chance. So I say we try at least and who know maybe … maybe it works out. Maybe it doesn't but I couldn't stand not trying."

Thor nodded.

"Those beautiful words we said to one another are hidden in the secret heart of heaven. One day, like the rain, they will pour our love story all over the world."

Dizzee laughed. Thor flushed. "So you did read it?"

Thor looked indigent. "Come on my boyfriend gives me a book of poetry and says this is the guy I named myself after. I'd have to be a complete dick not to read it."

Dizzee smiled. Yeah this was enough. He hoped it would always be.

**Author's Note:**

> Again thanks to guilli who suffered through me messaging her at like 1am with questions like is shao love or loyalty?? I can't decide. 
> 
> That poem Thor quotes in my favourite Rumi poem so far
> 
> If you commented on All or Nothing you're 100% this reason this exists and I love you to bits


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